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My mom is 88 and is a nursing home to get therapy after a fall and a broken bone in her hip area, femur. She had surgery, She doesn't like it there but theres no way to handle at home yet. She was doing fine, but we've noticed in the last week, that her short term memory is getting shorter and shorter, to the extent she forgets in minutes. No UIT its been checked. I visited yesterday and then again today, and could see the decline even in that time period. Does this signal that she hasn't got much time left? We are four girls caring for her, taking turns being with her at every meal and at bedtime. She's in a awesome care center, one of the best in Michigan

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It could be a sign of the end. Falls are one of the leading causes of an elderly person to begin to slide. The susequent surgery often leaves them confused and bedfuddled.

Also, the pain meds and such--all these affect us differently as we age.

I would ask for a Hospice consult ASAP. They can help you so much in determing what to expect and what to do.

My MIL was placed in Hospice Care and told she had 2-3 weeks left. 9 months later and she's still here. It has not been pleasant for anyone, just warning you.

You'll find your 'stride' in this. I just hope your mom has peace in her life.
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Not necessarily.

How is she physically? Is she eating and keeping on weight? Is she getting enough oxygen? The body can continue on long after the mind is gone.

What do the doctors say?
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Not really. It would signal more than anything else, perhaps, a reaction to hospitalization. It doesn't seem this would be from any surgery, as the reaction we sometimes so to anesthesia is instant, in that the patient usually awakened confused and this either does or does not improve with time.

I am glad they checked for a UTI. She may get better; she may not. She is 88, so almost anything can be "the beginning of the end". For my own Mom it was a fall, hospitalization, urinary tract infection, increasing instability in gait, another fall, pneumonia, and just a downward trajectory that worsened over the course of a few months, slowly and steadily until the signs of heart failure and other systems weakening were clear. She almost beat hospice; was on it less than a week when she died.

Each patient, each person, is as individual as his or her own thumbprint. You honestly cannot predict, nor can you know if she would be better or worse at home. If she doesn't improve and cannot cooperate with PT and OT it is worth a try for homegoing. If that cannot help she may be heading toward hospice in the absence of anything to explain this. I am so sorry. I sure wish you, and your Mom as well, the best of luck.
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Your first sentence said it.
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sp196902 Sep 2023
Is that what happened to you? How long have you been in the rehab Cover?
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No it doesn't signal the end of life it just means that mom's decline will be slow and steady and she could last for years in this condition.

Even though you have 4 people caring for mom it seems kind of ridiculous for someone to always be there for every single meal and at bedtime. One or more of you or all of you will burnout doing this for months and months at a time.
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againx100 Sep 2023
Yes, for the the very short term, this pace is OK but since this could go on and on, even spread out amongst 4 people, this is a LOT. I'd start slowly backing down so you don't all get burnt out.

It's nice to do a lot but a lot of pressure on you as well. If she won't eat, etc maybe you could hire an aide (with mom's money) to help her out and give you a bit of a break.
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I think Taime’s sentence really said it: “the body can continue on long after the mind is gone”.

It raises the question of what really makes a person – the body or the mind?
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No it does not. My step-mother remained in same shape for 3+ years, then one day, the shade rolled down, her dementia worsened just like that. Now she is stable again at least for a while, could be a month, a week or a year.

Why the overkill on the visiting her daily, being with her at every meal? You said that she is in a good facility, it sounds like you are taking her back home...why not research some MC homes? She will not mentally get better, her brain is broken.

You ladies will burn out if you take her home, it will happen.
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Every time that I think we are at the home stretch my parents have both rallied. So no I just think it is the beginning of the next stage of the new normal.

My 95 y/o mother who has CHF and a pacemaker is now in the hospital with Covid and a UTI. She is on antivirals and antibiotics and is telling my sister she wants to go home. I am just amazed that her body just keep going.

Of course it remains to be seen if she will get back what she had before this hospitalization. I’m dreading what the new normal is going to be.
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sp196902 Sep 2023
This would be the time to try and place mom in a facility.
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No. It does not signal end of life. I went through this with my mother almost 3 years ago when she was in rehab. 3 years later she is alive at home with a caregiving situation that is not sustainable. While in the rehab facility it did seem that her short-term memory was going. After she was home for a while the memory got better. What looked like the end of life for my mother was not. She is frail but will probably live at least a few more years. The memory thing seems to happen to people while in rehab.

What happens when your mom is released from rehab? Where will she go and who will assist with care if needed? I would start planning now.

Edit: I just read that your mom lives with your sister. If your mom was somewhat independent before, she may not be when she gets home. This could be a lot for your sister. A change in care may be needed. I am just saying this based on my own experience with my mother falling, breaking her hip, surgery and then recovery at almost the same age as your mother.
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