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My mom is on hospice care because she has declined physically and has dementia. Because I can only visit one week a month, should I look into paying someone to be an advocate for her to make sure she’s getting the best care and attention possible or is that needed? I believe she’s in a good place but the hospice bath person noticed while I was there last week, that my mom’s diaper was unusually wet, suggesting that she hadn’t been changed recently. She told me this is the first time she’s seen this with my mom. She was going to talk to the staff nurse about it and make a few suggestions regarding another issue. She gives her a bath twice a week and looks her over very well and makes notes of any concerns. Since my mom has hospice care, I wonder if this is enough to make sure she’s getting the care she needs. Or would it also be better to pay someone to come in and spend time with her weekly to see if she’s getting the care she needs? Is this done? I wish I didn’t live so far away, but I do my best checking in on her daily on an Echo Show when I’m not there so I can see her and talk to her. I also communicate weekly with the MC director. My mom gets lonely sometimes but doesn’t want to get out of bed and spend time with other residents. So wondering if someone who visits would also help with that.

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I would think with Hospice you really do not need another.
You can request a Volunteer visit mom 1 time a week.
A Volunteer is trained and if they notice anything out of the ordinary they will put that in their notes and it will be discussed during the Team meetings. Volunteers will note things like weight loss, increased coughing, disinterest, they will also make note if the person they are visiting discusses something that would be of interest to the Team. Anything critical is brought to the attention of a staff member immediately.
You could also request a visit from the Music therapist if mom likes music.
You can also request that the Social Worker visit more often. Typically a visit from the Social Worker would be 1 time a month.
A visit from the Chaplain would also be someone to keep an eye on mom for you.
All these people are trained to observe and pass on information that the Nurse, Doctor, CNA would need to be aware of.
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Someone visiting and sitting with your mom daily would obviously help her with loneliness, if she's agreeable to it. But if she's a loner like you've been saying in your posts, she may not WANT someone sitting with her every day. When my mother was on hospice, it seemed to me that there was a parade of people to see her every day. Literally. The chaplain, the social worker, the RN, the CNA who bathed her 2x a week, then there were the regular caregivers at the Memory Care who tended to her every need (she was not bedridden till the last week of her life), the family (me) who went to see her weekly, the phone calls, etc etc. So if your mother were truly 'lonely', I would think she'd ask to get out of bed and go into the activity room to see other people interacting. Don't let your unfounded guilt drive you to do things you think are 'necessary' when they may not be, nor may they even be WANTED.

Having hospice and the facility staff looking after your mother should be enough w/o the need for an extra caregiver to be with her, loneliness aside. If her brief is a bit too wet once in a while, oh well. That's not a life threatening situation, imo, and nothing to get too worked up about. If she's uncomfortable or needs/wants something, I imagine she herself could push the call button and ask.

I think you do quite a bit for your mom by calling her daily on Echo Show, checking in with the MC director and your brother who visits weekly. What more can be done, really, for a woman who's on hospice already? You can always ask her if she'd enjoy having a companion sit with her for a few hours every day, and see what she says.

Good luck!
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Why don't you ask for the hospice for a volunteer to visit once or twice a week. They try to match someone with the same interests and it usually turns out great.
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I think that if I had a total stranger next to me all day long it would be exhausting. If your brother is local to your mom, would he be able to add in 1 more visit a week? Or, offer to pay your brother to visit more since you're willing to pay a total stranger who your mom doesn't care about? Just a thought.
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I have found it is important to have an advocate to make sure a nursing home patient is being cared for properly. I visit my brother daily and have found clothes missing, him naked, needing a new brief, medicine changes, so I think it is important the nursing home sees someone is watching! Why not try it-she may grow to really like this person.
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IN DISAGREE THAT ‘A BRIEF TOO WET ONCE IN A WHILE IS NOT A LIFE THREATENING SITUATION IMO’, FOR IT ACTUALLY IS FOR A PERSON SUCH AS MY MOTHER, PRONE TO FREQUENT UTI’S. TOO-WET BRIEFS MAKE A UTI SITUATION ‘RIPE FOR DISASTER’. UTI’S CAN REND A PERSON SEPTIC IF UNTENDED.
TOO-WET BRIEFS’ CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED!
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I did and it was the best thing I ever did! If you can find someone who is retired but needs a few extra dollars, that would be great. Having eyes on my dad in case he fell or tried to climb up on the roof (yes, he did!) was invaluable!
If you want it to be for a while, make up an agreement and both sign in front of witnesses. That way everyone is aware of what is expected.
All I needed was someone to come in and drink coffee, talk to my sociable dad, and let him show her his garden. Later on, I needed her for longer hours and she became a lifelong friend.
But then, i did that in the mod-stages. Medicare will pay for a certain amount of hours a week. Check into that.
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I agree with asking for a hospice volunteer visitor. The first 22 months my Mom was on hospice, they sent a wonderful gentleman 2 times a month. He would stay for about an hour, talk with Mom or read to her and then call or text me when he left. Between the weekly nurse, 2 times per week bath aide, and chaplain or social worker who switched off weeks, someone had eyes on her often. I was crushed when they graduated her off hospice. It was another 6 months before she went downhill enough to requalify and is back on hospice. Different company this time and they do not have the staffing to do 2 baths a week, nor do they have any volunteer visitors due to covid. Mom is 96 and in memory care over 5 years, has no idea where she is or who I am, hospice is such a blessing to her and for me. I think their services are sufficient for now.
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Get both - a patient advocate and a volunteer. They do different things. The volunteer can keep your mom company while the patient advocate will see that she is cared for physically, mentally, and emotionally. Where do you find a Board Certified Patient Advocate? There are several organizations out there who certify or license advocates. Please interview 3 and then make your decision. All have experience in different areas of care: health, legal, home safety, and financial are the biggest areas. Since you are dealing with health, you will need to explain what your goals are, and what your expectations are and any great experienced patient advocate will know exactly what to do and take it from there. You will wonder how you got along without her! Hope this helps.
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I would call the facility every few days to speak with her nurse or Aid to see how she is doing. If Hospice is coming in, it’s likely that she does not have long to live. Keep the communication lines open with the facility. Send them treats, pizza, etc. weekly. You will get more information out of them and they will see to her needs more closely. You could get her a telephone in her room if you think she would answer it and make sense in conversation. If not, I wouldn’t get it. It would only cause you to worry.
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