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My 86 yo Mom is a Vaper of tobacco. She is obsessed with this and does this everyday, all day from morning until she lays down to sleep. At my home, she is not permitted to smoke in my home but sneaks it whenever she possibly can. Her new game is shutting her lights off in her bedroom when she is going to bed, opening the window in the dead of winter and blowing her vape outside the screen. I have caught her 3 times in the act this past year alone. I know she is doing it inside her bedroom because it stinks like vape smoke. We have had very specific conversations about this rule in my house but she really does not care. So, she said she wanted to move to an apartment. I told her that that was not possible. I explained that her next step is independant living or assisted living. I am pretty sure she has Alzheimer's but she refuses to get evaluation saying I am crazy. She has left the faucet running and walks away, she put the microwave on for 17 minutes for a small dish of frozen vegetables and nearly started a fire in the kitchen. She refuses to take her cell phone when she takes walks around the neighborhood. I do not think she is able to live independantly anymore. She has been covering up her "slipping" for at least the last 10 years. She would sooner lie to you than admit that she is slipping and needs your help. This has made it very difficult for us to help her do anything. So, if I could ask any of you out there, do you think my Mom is independent living worthy or are we looking for assisted living?

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She needs an Assisted Living which is usually private paid. She needs to be somewhere where she is watched 24/7.

Independent living is exactly what it says. The person needs to be able to live on their own. The difference between having an apartment and independent living is the activities provided by independent living. With my SILs Mom it meant an apt of her own. The ability to eat her meals in a dining room. Bus trips and transportation provided to shop and to appts.
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Sounds like assisted living. We have friends with a mom in assisted living and she’s allowed to vape away there, it doesn’t count as smoking so they don’t mind
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Caspercm, regarding independent living or assisted living at a senior facility, is finding one that would allow smoking/vaping. Where my Dad lived, smoking was only allowed on the outside porches, even in the dead of winter. Vaping or e-cigs not allowed.

One reason some places do not allow vape or e-cig has to due to do with the charger that one needs to use to charge up the battery. These batteries have been known to explode while in the charger, especially if over-charged, or explode when in use. Senior facilities do not want to take such a risk.
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I hope that she is paying you rent. She should be required to give you a security deposit so you can redo the room when she is no longer occupying it.

I would put some odor control candles or a diffuser in her room and be happy that she isn't sneaking real cigarettes.

I would hesitate to move her if her antics of vaping is the only issue. I know it's not cute or funny for you, but it is from here, she is like a rebellious teenager. Maybe take all the vaping products at bed time, have a jar that she has to put a dollar in every time she breaks the rules that you use to buy the candles or diffuser

Make her pay up for the added utilities for having a window open and make sure that you can redo the room at her expense.

Be creative about protecting your home without making her feel like you are trying to control her, she sounds like that just makes her more rebellious. Have some fun with it.
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Exactly- IL as opposed to AL: IL requires the resident to be mindful of how to use all appliances - incl. microwaves. They have activities but no medical staff on site like assisted living, NH would have. In our state, all of these senior living places do not allow smoking or vaping anywhere on the premises, including apartments.
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