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I thought that I saw online here that there is a medicine used to help with memory loss. I recently heard of coconut oil being used. After not seeing my FIL for nearly 6 months I was shocked when I did see him. He had a blank look on his face, did not initiate any conversation, participated very little in conversations going on around him, he says that he doesn't read much anymore and he naps a lot now. When I got home I called my BIL and he said that FIL repeats himself several times in an hour on days that he is talking, he stopped taking long walks like he always did everyday, he does not drive much, and that he admits that he is having memory problems. My MIL is too close to see the changes I saw to a certain extent but I know what I saw. My mother has really bad memory problems and from what I understood from her Dr. is that he could not do a brain scan to see if her condition is Alzheimer's but most likely he said that it was from plaque blocking the memory pathways. My mother hid her problem for quite a few years before I was able to piece everything together and get her to the Drs. to be diagnosed. I want to be able to guide my MIL in the right direction to get help.

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Has your father-in-law had a recent hearing test? Sometimes if one can't hear very well, they won't initiate conversations.

If someone met my Mom for the first time they would quickly think she had serious memory issues.... Mom is still as sharp as a tack at 96, but it's her lack of hearing and very poor eye sight that makes people think she is confused. When Mom has fresh batteries in her hearing aid she can manage to follow some conversation if you frame a sentence with words you know she can understand. I can say "groceries Tuesday" and she will understand and tell me what she needs at the store.... she even knows the prices and produce codes on many of the grocery items so she will rattle off those numbers to make sure I get the correct product...... yes, the product code... I'm lucky I can remember my own telephone number.... [sigh].
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Make an appointment with a geriatric physician an neurologist
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Aricept is one medication for slowing down Alzheimer's, but it won't give you back any memory capability. With both of them in decline, would it be possible to Move him into the ALF with her? That would be the safest solution.
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Namenda is another one. My mom was taking it and it didn't help her, but I kind of think it's supposed to be for Alzheimer's memory loss and she doesn't have Alzheimer's. I'm not really certain all this, though.

But I would stress that it would be best to go to a doctor to find out more about whether a medication and which one might be the right one. I've heard of terrible side-effects from caregivers of people taking Aricept and they urge others to take this into consideration when weighing this as an alternative.
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I'm pretty skeptical about the effectiveness of these drugs. My mother is taking Aricept. I haven't noticed anything other than she continues to decline. On the one hand, it's good for research purposes to try different drugs and see if they work. It's the only way to learn anything. On the other hand, and I'm not big on conspiracies, but I do think the only ones that are seeing improvement is Big Pharma, to their bottom line.
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