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She is 97 years old and cannot walk. She went into a nursing home after falling and breaking her hip and been there for 4 months. She has dementia is on anti-anxiety as well as antidepressant medications. Lately she has been telling us that someone at the home is trying to kill her and sometimes tells us that she killed someone. She goes on and on about how she has been arrested. She is really confused about where her room is and when she is in her wheelchair will go to other residents rooms and take things that she says are hers. She was very unhappy there at first--crying all the time and saying we put her there for no reason, etc. that was the reason for the medications. She has stopped the crying and saying she wanted to go home--which is impossible--but now she is saying all of the crazy things. They have adjusted the medications, but it doesn't help. Any Ideas?

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Make sure she is tested for a Urinary Tract Infections. They can cause these kinds of psychiatric symptoms in the elderly.
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I'm going to bump this up so others can see it.

I'm sorry your mom is so fearful and confused, it sounds as though the move has been fairly recent? I'm sure you already know that moves can be very hard on those with dementia and it may take a very long time for her to settle in there. Finding the most helpful medications can be a process of trial and error. It would be best if she was being seen by a geriatric psychiatrist, who is an expert in this area.
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It's been my experience that when there are multiple issues with a person that requires medications for agitation, anxiety, depression, etc. that a Geriatric Psychiatrist may be a good idea. They often can examine the patient, situation, condition, etc. and approach it differently than a primary care doctor. I'd work on that and see if further medication adjustment is in order. Also, sometimes, it takes awhile for meds to start working.

Still, there is no guarantee that a person who has dementia can be made happy. They suffer with brain damage and sadly, that cannot be reversed. Some patients find it difficult to be content or find happiness.

 It's tough on the family, but, I would try to work with the facility to come up with creative ways to bring her some cheer. I"m not familiar with how things work in a NH, but, only AL and MC AL, but, have they tried some kind of pet therapy? Music therapy? Fidget board? I wonder if something to keep her occupied and interested might help her relax.
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Thanks for all the helpful answers. She was living home alone until July when she went AL. We were beginning to see come confusion then. She was adjusting well there and was on no medications. After two months in AL she broke her hip. Spent the time in hospital and rehab and was discharged to the NH where she is now. She has been there five months. It se ms like after the anesthesia for the hip surgery, her mind was not right. Then the depression set in. I might add that she has not been happy since 2010 when her husband died--even though her four children did everything they could making it possible for her to stay on her home, going to see her really often, taking her places, etc. I k ow sh gets bored at the NH. They have activities like Bingo, arts and crafts, but she does not want to participate in any of them. As for the pet therapy, she doesn't care much for animals. 😩 So you see what we are dealing with. The only thing she cares for are the devotionals and singing groups that come. She wants to stay in her room, but they can't let her stay there alone because she tries to get out of her wheelchair and falls or she will go into the bathroom and fall. She has to have assistance moving from the chair to anywhere. So they pretty much keep her in the common area. She gets mad if they won't let her go up and down the halls and into people's rooms. My husband and I got to see her every day and I take her to her room and let her go through her things and arrange everything like she wants it. That seems to satisfy her for a little while. I don't know if there are any geriatric psychiatrists around here, but I will ask. There is a Christian counselor and psychologist who works with some of the primary care doctors on medications. May try that. Thanks again to all who answered. It helps just to write it all down. As for the UTI, the NH checks all of the residents for that pretty regularly. I dealt with that with my own mother. Did not realize it could affect the elderly in that way.
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Joanne,
That's tough. Considering the falls when she attempts to get out of wheelchair, I might ask them to try an alarm on her wheelchair. It's a seat belt, that they can undo, but, it alarms and alerts staff to attend to them. My cousin has one and since getting it, no more falls...Knock on wood. She will undo it, but when it alarms, she snaps it back. lol

I suggested Nature Sounds with tranquil music CD's for my cousin and her psychiatrist said it was an excellent idea. There is proof that it helps with agitation. It's worth a try. Of course, the staff has to make sure to put the music on and see to it she is in the same room. It plays sounds like surf, water falls, birds with soft music.

I'm not sure there are any answers. Sadly, some people do not respond to our efforts to calm, after a certain amount of progression.
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I've heard it mentioned that when a person goes on hospice and many of the meds are removed the patient seems happier. Since she has had time to become acclimated to her surroundings might it be possible that she would be happier off the meds now? I know my mother was never herself after she had to start taking meds. As soon as she got out of the hospital and off the drugs she would settle down a bit. Of course I'm sure there were many factors that contributed. So hard to know. When you find the geriatric psychiatrist perhaps you can ask him if that is an option. And I also wanted to mention that the anesthesia damage can get better over time for some patients. It did with my aunt.
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At 97, and after all she been through, she has every right to be depressed. Antidepressants are not effective in more than half the "normal" population, and that number drops dramatically in the very elderly.
Also, general anesthesia in the very elderly OFTEN causes long term problems. (My DIL is an anesthesiologist and she has confirmed this to me when my mother wants to have yet another surgery!)
I'm sorry for your MIL, but you may have to accept that this is the new norm for her. No one lives forever---and this may be what you have to accept. We all wish we could have the exact life we want and pass the way we want--but few of us get that.
Your MIL is obviously loved and well cared for. Accept that she is probably not going to get a lot better, or be "happier". I know that's hard.
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Her primary care physician should be notified right away. In addition, she should, if possible, be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist.  Her "cocktail of medications" should be checked because it sounds like these meds are sending her down the road of hallucinations.
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I'm going to add that it's not atypical for elders to experience "faux" thoughts/experiences. That still doesn't mean that she shouldn't try to be assisted by a geriatric psychiatrist.
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I have to agree with Llamlaover47. I think she is on too many meds and maybe they should take her off everything and slowly introduce one thing back at a time. Hopefully her doctor will help her with this.
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