Follow
Share

Hi, my grandmother is in a nursing home with a community fridge. She was admitted because among other things she had stopped wanting to cook or even heat up meals that we brought for her and because of this was not eating enough. We often bring her little treats of things she liked to eat at home (when she was making food for herself). She does enjoy them but often can't eat the whole thing. Because of all of our schedules most of the family visits her around a meal time when she does not want what we bring because she has already eaten so we put it in the community fridge with her name and the date so that if someone is visiting her in the evening she can have a snack before bed, which happens at least three times a week. Recently every item we bring her, plus the container it is in, has been stolen. We put something in the fridge, even attempt to hide it behind other things or in the crisper and when we come back the next day it is gone. I have asked the staff about this and am told they will check into it but nothing has been done. I believe the residents are taking her food but she is not allowed a personal fridge and the staff cannot monitor the community fridge. We have a hard time just bringing a small amount of something because sometimes she wants a lot if she did not like her dinner and then we feel we are depriving her. The facility does have a snack cart for other residents that are still hungry so they should not be so hungry that they are taking her food as well. I understand that many people there do not know what they are doing but it is very frustrating. Often we come from work and it is hard for us to carry ice cream or things that need to be kept cold. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to prevent food theft?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Putting a laxative in the food to 'trap the thief' is not going to teach them a lesson, if they have dementia, and is only adding to the workload of the staff.   And no resident stealing Granny's snax is going to be 'thrown out' - they cannot, they will not, banish people for this extremely common behavior, things disappearing in a nursing home is a fact of life.  Even if they do 'catch the thief' in the act, they don't know what they're doing and will continue doing so unless the refrigerator is locked up.....for goodness sakes, there are people who yell and bellow in nursing homes, who lash out and push people, and the poor residents and workers just try to go about there day with the yelling, bellowing, and lashing out - they don't get thrown out of the nursing home, old Mr. Smith who helps himself mindlessly to goodies in the refrigerator ain't going anywhere!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Lock her items up and only she can open them.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Mekare, I agree with others, there's no way to keep people from taking whatever is placed in community frig. If grandma can't have a personal frig, can she have a small size cooler for her daily leftovers? She could keep that in her room with her until she is ready to eat the leftovers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

WELL, I HEARD A JOKE ABOUT THIS ONCE. AT A WORKPLACE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT THEIR LUNCH KEPT THEM IN THE SAME REFRIGERATOR. AFTER MANY LUNCH BAGS ENDED UP MISSING - THE LUNCH BAG BUNCH DECIDED TO LACE THEIR SANDWICHES WITH A POWERFUL LAXATIVE. FROM THAT DAY FORWARD NO ONE'S LUNCH EVER WENT MISSING AGAIN. THE CULPRIT STILL REMAINS UNNAMED. BUT WHO CARES.

I WOULD STILL RECOMEND BRINGING THINGS MOM COULD KEEP IN HER ROOM. COOKIES OR OTHER SIMILAR SNACKS OF HER TASTE WOULD KEEP THE HUNGRIES AWAY UNTIL THE NEXT MEAL. WHATEVER HER TASTE = CHIPS, NUTS, COOKIES, FRUIT OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT DOES NOT NEED TO BE REFRIGERATED OR HEATED AND DO NOT VIOLATE ANYTHING IN HER DIET. THERE ARE MANY PREPARED THINGS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE REFRIGERATION THAT MAY SOLVE THE PROBLEM. HOWEVER, I WOULD STILL GO FOR A REFRIGERATOR OR REFRIGERATED CONTAINER WITH A LOCK TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. BEEN THERE AND I KNOW IT IS A PROBLEM.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hi everyone
My parents just came home from a nursing/rehab center. they were there for three months. I was there day and night and I saw so many people in their wheel chairs just roll into different rooms and come out with something. I laughed about it until I watched someone roll into moms room and stole her beautiful plant that I got her. I asked her as she came out of the room with the plant if it was hers and she this tiny thin little old cute lady replied nice and loud to me " mind your own f*cking business b*tch". at that point I decided to let the old not so cute lady keep the plant and told mom I would get her another one. I brought her a new one the day I picked her up to come home..... It happens all of the time......
ask them at the nursing station if they would keep the items in their refridge due to this constant problem..I did and they did do it for me.... good luck.....
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Your family are good cooks if that's only stuff taken - talk to other residents' families to see if they have same issue - trying bringing in non-food stuff like plants etc
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

A couple points: (some address things others have said, Maybe not specifically your comments)
The nursing home is REQUIRED to provide healthful, well balanced meals and to document it, so you don't have to worry about if she is getting enough to eat. She is. So whatever you and your family bring to her is "extra" treats as you noted. But if you always visit around meal time, it is unrealistic to expect her to eat treats that require refrigeration. And this is not a private home, this is a community and communities operate differently. Accept that :-)

You cannot stop other residents from taking her things. It happens all the time and is impossible to stop it. Most often it's because the residents are confused, have memory issues, and don't even know they are doing something they "should not" do. Staff in nursing homes are always short on time, so they simply can't "babysit" a refrigerator.

Trust me, they get ice cream so you don't have to buy it, or if you do, just get a single serving and she will have to eat it while you are there. If she doesn't, you can expect it will disappear. As others suggested, if you want to bring something, make it something that doesn't need refrigeration.

About stealing clothing, that doesn't happen often, but it does get lost or sent to the wrong room when it is laundered. To avoid that issue, put name tags in all clothing and take it home to launder it! and bring it back the next week. Put a sign on the door where the dirty clothes are kept that FAMILY WILL DO LAUNDRY. The result will be a lot less lost clothes. I did that for my FIL for years and never lost anything after posting the sign. Keep in mind that the laundry tosses everybody's clothes together into the same big machine, so take the number of articles of clothing every week multiplied by the number or residents and you may get an idea of what a humongous job it is! They have industrial equipment, not the wimpy little washers and dryers we have at home.

Have you specifically asked about her having a dorm-size refrigerator? Unless you have, don't take the word of what another resident may have told you. If management has said no, ask for their suggestions on how to secure her things.

Good luck, again taking into account that she is in a community now and so some things have to be dealt with that don't occur when you are in your own home. That's life. Give that grand lady lots of love and she'll be fine.

p.s. maybe she likes to "share"
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I leave things in a tiny dorm size community fridge in brown paper bags with mom's name and they get taken all the time but the most egregious was when staff cleaned the fridge last month and put mom's perishable yogurt and protein shake in a plastic bag and left it in the nurses office for two days -
they couldn't even put it back after cleaning or take it into the kitchen -
Evening nurse blamed it on the day nurse

I leave bananas and little treats in mom's room and often wonder what happens to a bunch of bananas in only two days between visits

Other residents have family who are there for meals but I can't with work so mainly outside meals and treats are on the weekend now
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I am kind of surprised that there is a community fridge. It is probably there for the family's benefit. Some people want to feel like they have brought snacks and are showing that they care, but some 'favorite foods' of one resident can be deadly to others. That's probably why her extras are being thrown out and no one at the facility wants to have to tell you that. Sometimes the things we love to eat can make us sick and difficult to care for. My mother in law loved spicy curry meals, but when she ate them they gave her diarrhea and sometimes vomiting. So if your patient is having a negative reaction to a favorite food after a visitor has left? Perhaps that food is disappearing for a reason. Anyway, it is just a thought. I like the suggestions I have read here, especially the Ensure. Snack pack puddings and jello were favorites of my mother in law. She had no dietary restrictions and really enjoyed those 'pack crackers' so we would keep them by the bedside table. The problem with those is getting them open. Maybe you could get a small dormitory style fridge or freezer for Grandma's room? That way she can have her own snacks at her convenience. But remember... particularly with dairy products to check the labels for freshness at each visit. The elderly do not read the labels as they should.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It's good to see a problem that is not life-threatening. If this is the only problem with this NH, I would try some of the others' suggestions, or let it go.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If she would've been allowed to have a personal fridge, I would've suggested putting a lock on it and giving her the key. Since this is a community fridge, I would strongly suggest just not taking any more than she can eat right there during the visit. It either has to be certain other residents taking this food or I'll bet you a nickel since there's security surveillance in these homes these days that it's probably one of the staff doing it. If you think about it, they can watch you remotely from another room like the office. I'll bet you a nickel it's not really a resident doing it if it's just her food being targeted and no one else's food is missing. I would take someone with you who happens to be an authoritative figure and I would go searching for these containers that you have marked. If they don't turn up in the nursing home then you'll know for sure it's one of the staff taking the food and the containers, especially if these containers happened to be really nice ones. The thefts  could very well be that it's either malicious driven by a greedy person or it may be that the staff who is taking her food specifically maybe doing it because she's not allowed to have it because maybe a  dietitian may have her on a strict diet. If this is the case, then it's one of the workers throwing out the food along with the container and they need to make restitution for those containers because the theft needs to stop 
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am wondering why your whole family feels the need to bring her food all the time. Does she tell you she is hungry? Is she losing weight?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

We bought mom a portable fridge for her room.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You can't stop stealing in a nursing home. My great-aunt's clothing was forever being taken by other residents and having her name sewn-in didn't help.

This is just something that seems to happen. Residents wander and thing everything belongs to them. Not sure why - maybe because "it's their home" and thus, anything there is theirs?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Same problem where my Mom was, things disappearing all the time. Scarves, her purse and anything shiny and pretty. I told the head nurse and she said she would look around. Her purse showed up 1 year later.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My mom has a small refrigerator on the top of her dresser. Her snacks are in her small beside table. Her top drawer has a lock. At one time, we had a problem with my mom giving away her snacks to the workers at the nursing home. We reported it to the administration that it needs to stop. I know if they had a community refrigerator, everything would be taken.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I know it must be disappointing not to be able to offer your grandmother all the conveniences she had in her last home. This is a difficult transition in all of your lives. Very often appetites do start to dwindle at this time in their lives. It's just going to be too unrealistic to expect your refrigerated treats to always be there. As someone stated above, the main thing you want to make sure of is that she is being treated and cared for well. One thing I might suggest is to find a liquid meal replacement that taste good to her (like Ensure). someone visiting could pour it over ice and add a straw giving her a nutritious cold drink snack.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This is an issue for administration, I agree. My mom kept cookies (in Ziploc bags) in her bedside table and we frequently left ice cream or Italian ice in the freezer in the community fridge, marked with her name. To my knowledge, there was no pilferage.

When an item went missing from her room, administration searched everywhere (checked all of her roommate's personal belongings as well, as she was a hoarder of sorts) and offered to replace the item. I would not have stood for "it's the way it is".
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I would not allow a loved one to remain in such a nursing home if they were not responsive to my appropriate requests. What other requests will they ignore?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Get a small lockable metal cash box that your Tupperware container will fit in. Take out the plastic part where the cash would go. Lock it, give keys to relatives, problem solved. Unless the food thief can pick locks too.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Have you asked the administrator what the reasoning is behind not allowing a personal or dorm fridge? I think an elder attorney could resolve this. If the facility claims it's an electrical appliance issue, there should be a facility electrician to tag it as tested and ok.

The facility cannot claim they cannot police the community fridge. There should be surveillance cameras everywhere for safety. It would be video recorded at all times and the footage could easily be reviewed to catch the person or persons doing this. It would be very easy to bait the fridge with a clearly marked food item with Grandma's name on it. If the facility tells you they don't have recorded surveillance, that's a bigger issue. Residents caught stealing have to be removed from the facility. Don't be surprised if the administrator catches staff doing it though.

Ozark Trails, at Wal-Mart stores, makes a cheaper version of a Yeti cooler that holds ice for days. It could easily be kept in the personal room, until the dorm fridge issue is resolved.

As far as someone with diabetes taking something they shouldn't be eating, there is no such thing as special foods or diets for people with diabetes. People with diabetes can eat anything, including cake. Insulin dosages are based on carbohydrates consumed and personal basal metabolism of each person.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

That is very nice you bring her snacks,but please do not expect people with dementia
to not take things that is not theirs.
Some can eat and not remember they have eaten and it seems to then the norm if they see a fridge to look for food.
There really is no solution. Since she seems to get a lot of visitors I am sure she will not go hungry if you only bring her small snacks.
I have a feeling even if you bring her things like cookies they will go missing from her room .
This seems to be the norm in nursing homes.
You say there is a snack cart. Well she could also have a snack from that.
The thing I would worry most about is, if she is being well taken care of.
Best wishes for your Grandmother..
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

One of the managing partners of a small firm for which I worked was always dieting, obsessively. Yet he raided the office frig. Lunches disappeared frequently. We all knew he was the culprit.

One day in the lunchroom when he was prowling around, someone made a comment that a lunch she had brought had disappeared. She commented that she was concerned b/c she had added by ex-lax to the lunch and wouldn't want someone to have accidents.

We surreptitiously stole glances at the partner; you should have seen the look on his face.
Helpful Answer (11)
Report

The community frig at the two nursing homes we have used is stocked by the facility or volunteers with items intended for the use of all the residents. You say that snacks are provided, so I would limit the things you bring to an amount she can finish while you are there, it is unrealistic to expect the staff to police this. You could ask if special items like ice cream could be kept in the facility's kitchen, although your access may be limited after it is closed in the evening.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Well, a few different ideas come to mind. When you bring Grandma meals, bring only as much as you think she can eat so there are no leftovers for the community fridge. It surprises me that there is a community fridge at all since someone could take something they shouldn't eat--like a diabetic take a piece of cake, for example. Especially since there seems like there's no supervision of the fridge. Second, for Grandma's snacks, bring things that don't need refrigeration, such as cookies, crackers, candy, chips, etc. Lastly, ask if Grandma could have one of those little dormitory fridges in her room. If needs be, maybe someone in the family could install a lock.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter