Follow
Share

Lying, setting me up, gaining access to and using my discount card, anger, defensiveness, tantrums, intimmidation, vengeful behavior, all since 87 year old mother left hospital about 3.5 weeks ago, and behaviors are escalating.


She refused all in home nursing care and physical therapy after hospital stay.


It was my understanding there was not a stroke and no one mentioned dementia.


We live together and I'm single never married. Financially there is mutual dependency which makes this a very devastating situation for me. No siblings.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I have a neighbor who's wife gets like this while and after she is in the hospital, she goes off, her memory fails at an alarming rate. Then after she come home she starts to improve,

Honestly, I do not understand this, unless they get themselves so stressed out that they cannot cope.

My neighbors wife is now home again, I visited with her, she seems to be coming down once again.

Perhaps you can talk to her doctor, he might be able to help her.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Get her an appointment with her doctor or urgent care. Start with testing for a UTI. These can cause behavioral issues in elders.

What was the hospitalization for?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree with having her tested for a urinary tract infection. My mom was off the wall when she got one. Hospitals can sometimes be rather lackadaisical about bathing and showers and such. My husband has been in rehab for mobility for three months and has had only one shower. He has had a UTI twice while there.

Btw, how does she get access to your cards? If you’re leaving them where she can get to them you might want to consider a safer place to store them.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

What took your mother to the hospital? You say she stayed in the hospital after the trip to the ER, and was offered (but refused) physical therapy and perhaps rehab too, so what was this all about?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Jean1808 Sep 2019
plz see my replies to lealonnie above and thank you to you and all who replied!
(0)
Report
You say 'since emergency room discharge' leading me to believe she was not admitted to the hospital, right? What did she visit the ER for, exactly? You then say she refused all nursing care after hospital stay. So.......if she did stay in the hospital, I'm with Dolly in that the behaviors can be HORRIBLE after a hospital stay. After they are home for a while, they tend to get better, normally. I agree with the others about the possibility of a UTI. If that's not the case, she may be going down the dementia road, as the behaviors you describe can definitely be attributed to dementia, especially since they've been mild and are now getting worse. That's typical of dementia progressing. She'd need to be tested by a doctor, of course, so a good place to start would be with her PCP or a neurologist.

Best of luck!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Jean1808 Sep 2019
87 year old lupus, chronic spinal pain treated with Percocet. We both had severe respiratory virus that went very bad and mom was seeing pcp but they opted no antibiotics.

My first day on a new job 4 weeks ago mom saw pcp and they took her to er with bp 195/124 pulse 200. Mom was in er overnight and discharged following afternoon. Saw PCP - no UTI, seeing again and also seeing cardiologist for first time. Chest x-ray showed a range of things including tortuous aorta.

This is not all of it and i dont know all that was done in hospital. I understand she was given oxygen and iv meds.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Jean, a change in mental status on a person your mom's age is a medical issue that should be brought to the attention of her doctor immediately.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Jean1808 Sep 2019
Hi Barb, she was actually on the phone with her PCP just before discharge from er. He has seen her and is seeing her this week. I have been advised to go behind her back to her doctor by a friend and I don't feel comfortable to do so. I absolutely could if I were not living under her roof. It's just too close. She even knows when I'm on the phone.

She said in er that she doesn't need a nurse, she is one ,(not exactly. She hasn't been a nurse in decades) and she told me she doesn't want anyone telling her what to do. She saw pain management doctor last week.

Oh yes, both sides of her family are death by stroke, heart attack, and aortic aneurysm. At 55 I have life long asthma and 2 years ago diagnosis of largely congenital hear disease. There was question on my abnormal ekg from two years ago of possible infarction.

I told her I am not her in home nursing care. She needs help regarding diet, housework, etc. A few days efore the er trip while I was still not working (very bad) she came home from outside soaking wet and face bright red. I told her to take her blood pressure. She refused and said she needed to cool down first.

Last week I encouraged her to take it easy and not do laundry until seeing cardiologist. That's way over 20 lbs and new med she's on could have been prescribed for recovery from heart attack or congestive heart failure. She went ahead and did it as usual while I was at work, increasing her back pain of course.

I feel like I'm done, which could mean I'm moving out.
(1)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter