My sisters have never been very nice over the years and I have had to step in when mum and dad have been upset because they have been ignored by them. They haven't, in the past, spoken to our parents for years. Dad died and mum was taken in by sister. I couldn't look after mum as I had a mental health problem and was in and out of hospital. Sister then stopped me from seeing mum in the last 3 years of her life, even though I wanted to see mum.
Mum has now died and sister blames me for making mum miserable in the last few years of her life. Sister has cut me off and never wants to speak to me again. Sister has said she wants to 'follow her own path with her own family'. I have nobody else. I'm 65 years old and I don't know what I've done wrong. I've asked my sister but she won't tell me. I want to stay in my own home as I get older but I'm lonely and more so now my sister has cut me off. Years ago I helped mum/dad as much as I could in order to keep them happy and I helped look after/educate and entertain my sisters; children. So, I'm at a loss as to why they have cut me off. I'm struggling to come to terms with this. What has gone wrong do you think?
Try not to dwell on this. Instead, put your energy into more positive things. Are you working? Have any hobbies? If not, find a part-time job. Or volunteer. Start a new hobby. Join a club.
If you live alone, consider moving into a senior community. There are social opportunities there. Join your local senior center.
There are many options for you to put yourself out there and make a better life. Without your sister's b.s.
We cling to family of origin but they are not always good for us and it is time you looked for friends that fulfil your needs. Sometimes a small change can do this for us. Trite though it sounds joining a group or getting and walking a dog can lead to new, more fulfiling relationships. Sometimes short regular interactions can do it - it doesn't necessarily need to be deep and meaningful. In time your sister will occupy less of your energy and sometimes when our persecutors realise they hold no power, they change their approach. However it is your reaction that needs the work. The good news is that it is within your power. 65 is not a right off! You have good years ahead, enjoy them!
You are a 65 years young spectacular person so share that personality with others. It's true during the pandemic that you may have to put off some activities but you can certainly plan for the future and start others today.
Here are a few suggestions:
Get involved with some of the wonderful books that have been publised over the past years. You can get them on audible or ebooks if you don't want to go to the library. Need more funds.... everyone in the US is hiring for something! Learn a new language... Spanish is the easiest and most widely available but pick one that you have always been fascinated with. Most colleges and high schools are offering courses online these days. Check out your local senior citizen center.... most of them do a lot more than checkers and marhongg these days. Love music..... can't play an instrument? Now's the time to learn ... keyboards have made music accessible and reasonable. I'm starting an online course beginners piano this March offered by our local senior resource center in Princeton. Go to the local dog park even if you don't have a dog and admire everyone's pooch. Every owner will fall in love with you and you'll get lots of info on doggy parenting if you ever decide to get a furbaby (remember that's a long committment though). Do you like animals but don't want to have one....no problem volunteer at a local animal rescue. They are always looking for people to walk dogs, talk to dogs, cuddle dogs.
Once we are out of the pandemic the volunteer opps will knock you down. Places looking for and needing volunteers:
local animal rescue sites, any hospital you can think of, libraries, homeless shelters, women's shelters, doctor's offices, libraries, many local governments....
you get the idea. The main thing to remember is you are a valuable person but... you have to let the rest of the world know that you are here. Most people will reach out to you.....after they know you are there and reach out to them. It's definitely a two way street. And don't worry about having family .... sometimes they are wonderful and sometimes they are an abaltross around your neck. Pick your family.... make friends.
Good luck on this journey. I know you will make it and have a blast in the process. It's worked for me ... no kids, no biological family but the best set of friends who are there for me come hell and high water that you've ever seen. I'm 77 and every day is still magical and wonderful (and occassionally..... a little surprising!) Please keep in touch. Let me know what books you are reading .... if you have the time after your lessons and volunteering!!
Peace