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My mom lives in a MC facility, and we’ve recently had a problem with staff using her room for breaks. Several times we’ve walked in and a staff member will be sitting on her furniture or talking on the phone in her bathroom because it’s “quiet” there. One time Mom and I were in her room for several minutes before a staff member sheepishly came out of the bathroom and made some excuse about checking on Mom (who is very mobile and usually not in her room). We’ve told the facility director, and he says he’s aware that this is a widespread issue. Is this a normal thing? We’re thinking about putting a camera in her room. While I totally understand the staff needing regular breaks, they do have their own break room. I don’t like my mom’s room being used as the place to “hang out” just because it’s cleaner/nicer than other areas in the facility (thanks to me). I guess I’m a little irked about paying thousands of dollars for Mom to have her own space and someone else using it, potentially sleeping there. I hope this doesn’t sound selfish. I’m just wanting to know what others have experienced.

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I have heard of staff napping in resident's rooms so that isn't outside the realm of possibility. No, staff should not be using your mom's HOME as their secret break room and I'd make darned sure that you document and report every instance.

(You likely won't even have to have a camera, just a sign that says there is one😉)
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Maybe if you ask for a substantial discount that will get management’s attention on solving the problem.
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KaleyBug Oct 2022
I like this, since her mom is sharing her room with staff she should be paying a reduced rate. Love this response
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This is no different than Mom renting an apartment. Your Mom is paying for a private room. As such no one should be making themselves comfortable in it. You probably have been nice so far. Next time the Director is told that he must make his aides aware that residents rooms are not their break room. I would think this is a reason for firing. Is there an RN? If so, talk to her/him. She is over the aides.
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I would not want this to happen. Install cameras and keep reporting to the director. If the Director cannot do anything to help, report to facility owners and state regulators. This is your mother’s “home” now and she deserves her privacy.
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Christine44 Oct 2022
Totally agree, Becky. "Privacy" -- along with "dignity" -- are the operative words here.
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JoAnn29 is the comments is spot on right. Your mom's room is no different than if it were an apartment or a house. It is her home and that is her personal space that she pays for. No one has a right to go in there when "she isn't home" without her permission.
I would strongly encourage you to take this up with the facility director. If the facility director ever feeds you the insulting nonsense about being 'aware that it's a widespread issue' you go higher than him. He has a boss. Or the place had a Board of Directors that he answers to. I worked in a very nice AL for a long time. If I ever saw a staff member sneaking into a client's room to chill or use the phone there would have been trouble.
Install those cameras too. Then show the footage to the facility director and insist that he make a policy that employees in a resident's room who are not assisting them in some way or not the housekeeping staff in there cleaning, will be fired immediatey.
You should make a big fuss about this because it is wrong.
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Not selfish and completely unacceptable. The director should have responded far better than saying he’s aware. I’d threaten to move mom and her $$ elsewhere if it doesn’t stop
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Lulu376 Oct 2022
They care more about reviews.
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I have a camera in moms apartment. It has been helpful on the times mom has been confused or when she tripped and thought she hit her head (she didn’t) which saved her from going to the hospital. It also has been helpful in just seeing the routine of the staff which helped me see that I was paying for services she didn’t get. Complaining didn’t help because I was told mom declined or delayed or there were staffing shortages. I got her a private carer who comes in 4 hours a day (some are 2 hour min). She is awesome and moms advocate when I am not there and likes the camera because she wants me to know how my mom is doing. Btw, mom has 2 caregivers now for 7 day care. It is still less expensive than the AL services and they text me daily what was done. Routine is soothing to mom and she feels safe with her own person. I found my person from the private carer who was working with another resident. Mom didn’t bond with 1 person (I think it is because she is not confident-mom is sweet but can “smell” fear or lack of confidence.) That poor lady did not have a chance! ;)

Side note: find a excellent stand alone ER so you can take her if she doesn’t have to be transported. Mom tripped, 911 was called, nothing broken but because she hit her face she was required to be evaluated. I put her in my vehicle and took her to my fav standalone ER and she was evaluated, xrayed and mri’d and released. She was back in 2 hours. The AL staff were shocked. If she was taken to the local hospital they said she would have been there all day and probably admitted according to the staff. Mom was happy to be home and in her own cozy apartment.

I told mom the cameras were speakers and I didn’t ask permission from the facility. There is a sign outside her door that they eventually put up but the cameras are not hidden. I use Blink.
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Lulu376 Oct 2022
I'm assuming you mean an urgent care center? Good tips.
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Check with your state's regulatory agency. This does not sound like the sort of thing they permit. I would also check with other facilities, residents' relatives too if possible. I haven't heard of this, but it sounds creepy. God knows what happens at night.
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I’d be quite P.O.’d!
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Nobody should be in your mother's room a) without her permission and in the case of staff b) without a legitimate purpose for being there.

I would be extremely concerned about regularly finding staff members in your mother's room and her bathroom. I would also want the facility director to be more specific about what the widespread issue is, and I hope it isn't that staff aren't prepared to use their own restroom because it's monitored.
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