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I have an appointment for a much anticipated psychological evaluation for my 89-year-old mother with possible dementia tomorrow. She is so angry with me still about taking away the car that she will not even talk to me. I need to petition for guardianship but have to get this evaluation first. It's not going to be easy because she is a retired psych nurse and thinks there's nothing wrong with her memory and will not go to the doctor. She is verbally combative so I may have to make up a large "white lie". I'm having trouble with that but for her safety (she is walking to grocery store for tobacco) and health well being, she has got to go so we can move forward.

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I told my mom we needed the neuropsych exam to get a baseline measurement. That it would be useful in the future to measure any decline. That we were sure there was no decline 'now' ( blatant lie).
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Thinking about you and your mom today! Good luck!
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MsMadge, thank you for responding. The appt. is tomorrow and my son is going to go with me for backup. She called again for the 3rd time today as in everyday asking about giving her car back. I told her that I have an eye dr appt. (which is at the same hospital) and that afterwards we will go get the car. She said okay, but we will see, every day is a new day. My husband went to see her today and for an hour she was okay as far as anger goes but as soon as he left she followed him outside and Flipped on him angrily about the car. She was like Jekyl and Hyde. I'm super nervous and having constant anxiety now since this started 40 days ago and not very good when put on the spot about something. We have always been close and our relationship has totally changed.
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SD, good luck tomorrow. If you can't get her there, you call the neurologist and ask how they suggest you get her there.

If nothing else, check out if there is such a thing as an involuntary psychiatric evaluation process in your state ( called Baker Act in some places).

I believe in some states, you can apply for guardianship and the court will arrange the evaluation, at home. Are you working with a knowledgeable lawyer?

Finally, you need to take care of you. Consider seeing a therapist, seeing your doc for medication, whatever it takes to get you through. Let us know how it goes!!
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Barb B, the first attorney I spoke with over the phone said they couldn't help me until I got the diagnosis. But, I have an appt. with another attorney next Wednesday. My 63 yr old husband is having total hip replacement in a couple weeks after it being postponed for 6 months after also having unexpected heart surgery. The timing couldn't be worse to be concerned about spending money on an attorney, but I felt like I had to go "rescue" my mom from another state because of her decline and not eating and also disturbing things she would say. I went to visit my local Alzheimer's organization recently and the facilitator was more worried about my health than anything else going on. I never would have dreamed that my mom could turn my world upside down and how it affects my not only mentally, but more so physically. Her anger toward me and my family is almost like a shock to my system. Baby steps, is al I can do right now to focus on a plan. When the dust settles and I get my husband thru this surgery and recovery I plan on joining some weekly support group meetings. I have gotten more hugs from strangers this past month who tell me they have gone thru so much of the same for years. There seems to be a huge amount of support and comraderie about this disease.
Thank you all for your responses. Dawn
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Hope all goes smoothly for you tomorrow.
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Bumping up.
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My mom caused a big stink at one of her neurologist appointments when they had a student take her history

Since your mom is mobile and will figure out where you're going, I'm wondering if the neurologist can give you a single dose of Valium beforehand like going to the dentist

Have you asked the office for advice?

Maybe say the appointment is for you and you'd like her to be with you - offer an olive branch and plan lunch or pie and coffee afterwards 

I have to bribe mom to do a lot of things 
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