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My Mother has Dementia and has recently entered a Nursing Home.  She constantly wants to go home and is giving Dad a hard time. We cared for Mum at home as long as we could, but my father is 89 & is unable to care for her at home any longer.

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No one wants to be in a nursing home and they would all like to go home. My mother wanted to go home, but her dementia kept her from understanding or remembering that it was no longer safe for her to be at home. I tried telling her that it was not my decision, but the doctor's for unless he considered her a safe discharge, she could not go home. That did not work. I had the social worker come and talk with her, but she forgot that too. I finally got to the point where I would promise to talk with the social worker and she would forget again, but I repeated that one over and over again.
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cmagnum has a good solution. S/he found a temporary answer that keeps her mom satisfied, at least until she asks again.

Some people have shared that they tell their parent they have to stay in the facility until they get a little stronger. Some have told their parent that they can't go home until the Dr. says they're stronger. This takes the responsibility off you and places it on the Dr. who is never around anyway.

The hope is that the parent gradually stops asking altogether.
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My dad went into the nursing home last fall and would constantly demand to go home - he would pack in the morning. My mom and the nurses would remain positive and say "the doctor will decide when you are a little stronger. in the meantime....." and then would redirect him. After a few months and a few more strokes - he no longer remembers the house he lived in with my stepmom, but "home" is his childhood home with his parents.

Be kind to your mom and try some of the suggestions and eventually this will pass. It must really be hard for your father.
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