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My mom is in a continuum memory care facility. She is in independent living at this moment and does not drive. I have her vehicle that is worth between $8000-10,000. I live 25 miles from the facility where she lives. I travel to help mom 3-4 times a week (dr. appointments, shopping, just to get out, church). My sister and brother want to sell moms van to have the money go to her account. Mom knows her van and it is so much easier for her to get in and out of. Since it is a distance to pick her up I usually do some of my own errands while in town. My sister sees mom one time a month and my brother once every three months. I pay for insurance, tags, maintenance and gas for her van. Their hard feelings are wearing me out! So, am I in the wrong using her van for her needs and mine while I am in town? Need some advice!

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I wrote a long answer then lost it!

Right or wrong isn't the answer. It seems like a good idea to me. Do you know why they want to sell it? Does Mom need the money? Do they need the money? Do they know how much you spend to keep it running? If you give them numbers, would it help?

Is there a pastor, friend or relative who could mediate a discussion about this? Could you sell your car and buy Mom's yourself? A good working car is not an easy thing to replace. Try to understand their thoughts, and maybe you can change their minds. Bless you.
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What does your mom think about it? From your description it sounds like she still clear thinking so I would say at this point it's not your siblings call to make. Personally, I so get where your coming from - my car is an SUV and was hard for mom to get in to. Hubby's car is a Lexus sedan- so hard for mom to get out of...like Goldielocks, I could have really used a car that was "just right". Then there hefting the walker, and later the wheelchair in and out...
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Absolutely not, you selfish siblings! The Van is hers, used for her benefit.
I could not possibly do that!
Not selling the van.
Not going to stop helping her 3-4 X per week.
Was going to ask you for money to keep up the registration and maintenance!!
If you bring this up again, I will send you a bill!
Unbelievable that you would say to sell the Van!

1lovingmom, Here is just one answer. I am sure others will have the nicer answers, soften the words? Can you go see Mom without her Van?
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You are not wrong.
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Thanks for all your thoughts.
No, mom has enough money for the facility and spending money. I finally did tell them to come help me if they keep complaining and they both said to hire someone because it was too far. I have a feeling it is more of a "heart issue" affecting their decision to sell the van.
I did tell mom one time they wanted to sell it but it made her upset with all the changes she has been through so I did not mention it again.
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Keep the van until she needs Medicaid, then sell it and put the money into mom's account. It's very important to account for all assets for five years prior to applying for Medicaid. Save your receipts for gas, tags, insurance and vehicle maintenance.
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