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My father has been in assisted living now and it has been the best thing for him and my family. Almost all of the staff is caring and competent but there's one staff member who has a bad attitude. When asked for assistance they become bothered, like we interrupted their vacation or something. I would think that sooner or later this person will no longer work there but what is the best thing to do about this?

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As a resident of assisted living there was one can that was just mean to everyone so I began slowly with asking how her day was going and complimenting her on little things like her hair her outfit just anything I could think of and slowly she came around to being one of the best cna on the floor she just needed to feel valued and respected and sometimes residents forget the word thank you and are very demanding
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These people are doing the worst job ever, for very little pay. They are literally wiping butts all day long. You may want to cut them some slack and get over the fact they some of them are not all smiles all day long.
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sp196902 Sep 2023
And they don't have to jump when someone says jump either. They are probably overwhelmed and short staffed. I would cut them some slack because the dad is in assisted living after all not full time skilled nursing. I really want Lisa to let us know what kinds of requests dad and her/him are making. Are these things dad or they could do while Lisa is visiting or is it something that the aide should really be doing.
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I think I would take a two pronged approach. When you ask the person for assistance and she shows annoyance, be genuinely concerned. Ask "Is something wrong? Should I not be asking for X? Is there someone else whose job that is?"

You never know. You might get the answer--there is another staff member who's been MIA coming back from lunch; what you are asking is a task another level of staff is assigned to, or she's been yelled at by her boss.

During your next care meeting, ask the supervisor about what's going on. "X seems really unhappy about doing stuff we request. Are we not supposed to ask her to do that?".

Having a "bad attitude" isn't the same as someone who is making med mistakes or refusing to do stuff.
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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 2023
So very true!
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Report her to the her supervisor.

Nothing is perfect. Most of us have witnessed that no matter what type of business it is, there are always people who are hustling and others that will drag their feet.

There will always be issues to address. If these are minor, then consider yourself lucky!

When you complain do so in a professional manner. Show appreciation for the great help that your father is blessed with.
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In my mother’s NH years there was one CNA who my mother reacted with fear and disdain each time she was involved in mom’s care. We requested with the director of nursing that this worker no longer provide any care to mom and our request was immediately honored. It wasn’t long until this person was no longer working for the NH. There’s always a difference between not being polite and being mean or incompetent, so be sure which you’re seeing. See first if you can befriend the worker, making conversation and asking about her day. If nothing works it’s not wrong to speak up as you’re the customer
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Sorry, there are people "not my job, not my responsibility".

Is this aide assigned to Dad? Aides can't give medication, only a Medtech, LPN and RN can give meds. Yes, she could have said "I don't do meds but I will tell the person who does"

Find out what the Aides responsibilities to Dad are. Can't complain about laundry because Aides don't do it. Can't complain about the room being dirty to an aide, housekeeping does that.

I like what people suggest. Aides can be ur friend. Better have them on ur side than not.
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Perhaps thank the difficult staff member effusively for whatever they actually do. It is so unexpected that it makes people think.
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I'm afraid if the job description said that only cheerful, gregarious and solicitous people need apply the staffing shortages would be 10X worse than they already are.
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Unless this is a very small facility there are probably dozens of different people working around your father, if only one of them isn't Susie sunshine I think that's a pretty good ratio. To me there is a big difference between bad attitude and abusive or incompetent, as long as it doesn't cross that boundary I think 🤷🏻‍♀️, we've all learned to deal with difficult people in our lives.
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Start keeping a journal of dates and details of the unprofessional interactions. When you have a few (or a week's worth) take it to the admins and then ask how and when they will deal with it. Then tell them you're going to follow up on it by XX date. The admins can't work with vagaries so all possible details will be helpfl to them, and the aid won't be able to dispute it when confronted with facts. Start here and see how it goes.
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