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Aha. Yes. "Mom, I can't do this if you won't work with me and your doctors. This is your choice". Bat the ball firmly into her court. What is the Geri Psych saying, by the way?
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we need more detail and information to be able to intelligently reply
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My brothers response to me needing help from him is, " you signed on for this".
What a heartless response! I am beginning to feel guilty to having a boyfriend and I guess if I got rid of him mom would be happy. Then I would be there for her 24/7. She has recently started buying only food for her and now I pay the majority of bills/food/utilities...etc. I don't get it. I guess my happiness doesn't count to my mother or brother. I already deal with my own depression and frankly I feel happier when he is at my house...depressed when he is gone.
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Also I feel like I wait on her hand and foot but she rarely says thanks for anything I do. I feel taken for granted and abused mentally. I work full time and come home to a miserable woman who seems to hate me... I just don't know what to do. All I feel like doing is crying.
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You have to read the whole strand. Her mother had dementia, and she couldn't see it. Mom was paranoid and delusional.

this really has to do with your mom's state of mind; you need to find out what's going on, and that you do through a geriatric psych.

Your mother is committing emotional blackmail by saying she'll kill herself. has she SEEN an assisted living place recently? Take her on a tour for the free lunch.
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What did the Geriactic Psych. say your mom's diagnosis is? Did they have any recommendations about the level of care that your mom needs and what mentally speaking she is capable of?

Having to endure all of this emotional blackmail, I think that it would help you to see a therapist both to vent about this and to get some face to face guidance on how to handle it.

Without guardianship, you want be able to move her anywhere against her will, but at least she is in your house instead of you being in her's. That's an expensive step to take and will only work if she's been diagnosed as incompetent by a doctor.
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My next stop would be a geriatric psychiatrist. Is she having paranoid thoughts, delusions about you? What is she telling your brother, and is he believing her? Who is treating her depression?
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Is assisted living a possibility?
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I think that you need to rethink the decision to have her move in with you; what was the reason for that? It's apparently not working out between you. What are the other possibilities for her living arrangements/care?

When (and if) it became obvious that mom needed more care than she was getting, did your brother have opinions about how that should be arranged? Was he in favor of a facility and you were not? If that's the case, then perhaps you can see his point that "you signed up for this", ie, you didn't look at the other possibilities.

Perhaps your mom (like mine) said, "oh no, I couldn't possibly go to one of "those" places. But there was no other alternative, because she couldn't deal with help coming into the home. She ended up really enjoying her time at Independent Living. Like another poster here often says, like a cruise ship that doesn't leave the dock.
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My mother told me she would kill herself if I put her in a "home". How could I do that knowing she said this?
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