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& what kind of docs? With no trustworthy family members to rely on in the case of my own mental disability,  After caring for my Dad who passed a few months ago at age 93, I'm now looking at my own future. My brother and his family deeply resent me for offering my home to Dad in his last years because they wanted access to his money before he died. Dad agreed with me to set up a trust so his money went for his care during those years, which it did. When he died, all Dad's funds were split 50/50 between my brother and me, as Dad intended. My brother and his family won't speak to me now. I don't anticipate this schism or my brother's resentment will ever change. I'm 59 and looking at my own potential future and feeling vulnerable. I am unmarried & have no children, no other relatives other than my brother and his family who I can't trust. I set up a Medical POA with a good friend but haven't known her long enough to be able to 100% trust she would never be tempted to take my savings; something that is possible with DPOAs. I've seen a CPA (who works in a small firm) who recommends setting up a revocable trust with himself in charge of the $ and my friend in charge of my physical needs. I was told by an attorney, not part of his office, that I didn't need a trust - only a DPOA for financial decisions in the event of my incapacitation and a Medical POA. Here are my questions: (1) Would be it safer to list as my DPOA the CPA or the firm he belongs to? I'm thinking that if he retires in a few years, if I had appointed him personally as my DPOA and not his firm, I might have a problem. Also, I would hope I could trust a firm over an individual CPA. He seems trustworthy, but you never know. (2) This CPA offered the use of an attorney who he usually deals with to write up all the necessary documents. Is this a conflict of interest and might this put me at risk? (3) I don't want to lose ownership of my home which I understand would happen if I put the house in the trust - it would belong then to the trust. I am concerned now only of protecting myself from the possibility of my brother going to court and claiming guardianship of me if I were incapacitated - or the court choosing him as my guardian given that he is the closest relative. This would be disasterous for me. My brother would take all my assets and leave me without anything. He would have done that to our father if given the opportunity. (4) What kind of documents do I actually need to have in place? Would a DPOA and medical POA suffice or would it be better to establish a Living Trust and separate medical POA, given that my home would not be part of the trust? My understanding of trusts is that these docs are set in place to help prevent probate. At my age, I'm not so worried about what happens to my assets after I die. I have a will already so am just trying to get documentation established to prevent my brother or any of his family from getting guardianship of me if I cannot answer for myself, either by going to court or being assigned my guardian by a court by default. I live in Texas. Does anyone know of someone who had to rely on non-family for POAs? I would like to know what they decided and how that has worked for them. Thanks in advance for anyone's thoughts and sorry for all the questions. It is a complicated matter that I just don't want to make a mistake on.

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I am in same situation. In California we have the Professional Fiduciary Association of California.
These fiduciaries are licensed and bonded. I have a trust - this is most important because it is the only way someone else can handle your affairs if you are incapacitated (even a spouse would have to go to court to get guardianship if the other spouse had dementia, etc.) I have Power of Attorney and Medical Power of attorney. My trust even covers my pets (as 3 are long living parrots).
The fiduciary will take over if I am unable according to the terms of the trust. My lawyer , banks, etc. all have a copy of the trust. All assets are held by the trust.
The few cousins I have left live in other states and I would never let them handle my affairs anyway.
Trust stipulates my current choice of fiduciaries and if she is unable to serve another member of PFAC will be chosen.
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Catmusician,
You may want to look for an attorney that specializes in estate planning or elder law. They are generally much more knowledgable about your needs than your local lawyers who handle lots of other kinds of cases.
I would not buy annuities. That doesn't solve your problem at all--just puts your funds into another place where maybe you can't get them if you need them.
Perhaps an elder law or estate planning attorney could set up a plan where your friend who you've entrusted with your health care decisions could also be in charge of your financials but be under the supervision of another person--like your CPA or attorney.
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I was made DPOA for two friends of mine in 2013, both financial and medical, due to the wife's dementia and husband's forgetfulness. I had been friends with them for over 40 years. They had no children or close relatives. We belonged to the same religion and worshipped together and vacationed together. The wife's 2nd cousin was made 2nd POA and another friend the 3rd POA. I was immediately added to their bank accounts so I could take over for them as they became less able to manage their finances. I monitored their spending on-line for a while and then began looking at assisted living places to see what they were like and how much they cost. I found one that had memory care apartments large enough for a married couple and eventually was able to convince them to go since the wife's dementia was progressing rapidly and she needed 24 hour care. It's been a learning experience for me but I have gotten good answers and guidance along the way. That we belonged to the same religion with high standards of honesty and caring was important and it has worked out well. I make the decisions for the most part, but keep the other 2 POAs informed of things. I am now tasked with emptying out their condo, fixing it up and then selling it. It's like another job. I am retired, too, and there is no immediate deadline to do this, but I have to keep at it and not slack off too much. There are distant relatives I can send the old family photos to and some items that will sell. I am still trying to figure out what to do with everything else. If you belong to a faith based community or church, I would be talking with the minister for ideas. If they care about their members and the growing needs of our aging population, they should be exploring ways to support them, IMO.
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Hi I'm in Texas too. I understand your delima because im in a similar situation. I think you should talk to an attorney about a trust. If your home is in the trust and your in control of the trust, then im not sure that you have anything to worry about. I see several trying to talj you into an annuity. Dont go that way. An annuity is an investment into an insurance company and if that insurance company goes broke rhen your annuity and money is gone. You do eant to make sure to be set up to be able to steer clear of a court appointed guardian as ive heard horror stories about them robbing people blind, just like what you are concerned your brother will do. Do you have a cousin that you could depend on? I would be lery of giving any power to an unknown person or company. You need an elder law attorney to talk to. I know some in the Ft Worth area and one in the Sugarland area. Do you live close to either city in TX?
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cat, last month a wise member with the handle 'ruthieruth' posted her approach, and since I'm on my own too I copied it for future reference! I had no idea how to bookmark it, nor how to point you to it now. So I'll paste a copy here, feeling that it's okay to repost someone else's words to the same discussion site...

ruthieruth on AgingCare.com
July 2016

I am in a similar situation. I don't have Alz but have memory issues and lots and lots of physical disabilities. What I did is made a Will and Advanced Directive and an Alzhiemer advanced directive...even if it's not "legal" in my state, it covers a lot of the "wants" and I attached it to my advanced directive that is legal. It lets my wishes be known. I also completed the Compassion and Choices paperwork in a way that suits my preferences, regarding Right to Die. I think, whether Pro or Con, it's important to state MY WISHES, because sometimes doctors get funky and try to play God with insurance, and dole out care based on what they think is covered, VS what is actually covered, and what a person wants. So i got very specific and wrote it down. I also made a video explaining everything.
I made a different video for my caregivers..This is how i like my hair brushed, This is what i like to eat. Like a series of training videos.
These are the topics i covered:
Food and diet
Medications (I take this one with food. I know the doc said this, I do it like this....)
Groceries
Shopping
Clothes and Laundry
Passwords and Financial Accounts (I also dictated permission to my bank to let the person who is pay on death have permission to close the account even if some of the paperwork was not exactly correct...etc. Don't know if this will work, but i explained it.I have filled out a financial POA....)
I did a video of explaining what i do for fun, a bit of my family history,
etc..all of the things a person would need to know to care for me is on video.
What kind of toothpaste i use....etc etc etc.
mentioned the video in my ADvanced directives.
I also made a video that explained, for instance, when my friend had a stroke and needed a feeding tube, I don't want that. that i am OK with this treatment in this situation etc...as many as i can think of, and my reasons why.
It might sound kind of creepy, and I didn't do it all at once, but once i got it done, i felt really at peace, like I could stay in the present minute and not worry too much about the future.
I also sold a LOT of my stuff. Took pictures of it, but simplified. Saves on caregiving costs.
in terms of the actual person to name on the DPOA, i started hanging out on some of these websites where young millennials hang out and watched for the smart ones, that I basicaily agreed with, who don't back down easy, and are good advocates. Finally asked one or two of them to be a final advocate for me, and to watch my videos. Introduced these people to my friends, and doctors, had them fingerprinted, and referenced. I mean, what the heck. Didn't know my first grade teacher either. Leap of faith.
I talk to my doctors A LOT.
And yes, my attorney.
Hope I go in my sleep, quietly and peacefully, like my grandpa did. Not kicking and screaming like the folks in the backseat of his car......:) good luck to you.
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Regarding naming an individual or a firm as DPOA, I don't know if you can name a firm--may have to be an individual.
In my experience, my sister was POA for her husband, who was paralyzed. Her elder law/estate planning attorney prepared a document that transferred that POA to me in the event of her death, which happened before his. I had some push-back sometimes when I would present these documents, but once their legal dept would review them, they were always accepted.
I know this sounds like it would just require you to name more people that you already don't have; but my point is that you need an attorney who specializes in your needs. He or she should be able to tell you what to do; but more important, explain to you WHY, so you understand and are comfortable with the decision.
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My husband and I have a living trust, and we were the trustees. (Our grown kids are the successor trustees, and they get along and are all successful business-savvy people.) Having property in the trust has not been a problem, didn't interfere with any thing we needed to do. It made it much easier after he died 12 years ago; I sold the house with no problems and am in the process of selling our business property. The trust owns it, but you control the trust. You do need to name a successor trustee, which could be a trusted friend, a professional administrator or elder care professional guardian (there are such things, bonded and regulated), even a nonprofit charity that you care about (most charities and churches have departments that handle this; I was a church treasurer at one time and one of our members had us named as successor trustee, and I and our board dealt with the estate after the parents and unmarried son passed).
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Hello Radiator81, I know how you feel. Yes, there are some good things sometimes about being single but without any family you can trust, it is very hard. With the suggestions of all these lovely people as well as some free advice I have gotten from an attorney service I subscribe to, I'm starting to feel that I understand what will be necessary. Trusts sound like the way to go -- since banks don't always recognized POAs, as I discovered when taking care of my Dad, but DPOA and Med POA seem to also be necessary to ward off the court determining appointing a guardian. From what I've read, you don't want to be in a position where someone is your guardian because there is no way of regaining control over your life and effecting your own decisions again. When you think of putting your life in the hands of someone else, it is pretty daunting, to say the least, especially when you've experienced a lot of betrayal from different folks in your life. I've learned that it is possible to set up a "Declaration of Guardianship" to try to prevent a court from just appointing someone you don't know as well as preventing a court from selecting certain individuals you don't trust. Along with the trust, the DPOA and Med POA, this seems like a good document to include. This might run into some $, but if it keeps me from physical and financial disaster down the road, it is well worth every penny.
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I am sorry to hear that brother is one without a heart nor soul. Perhaps he will change by God's grace, I beg.
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RareFind, that is great advice. I think that giving away valuable possessions while one is still alive is a great idea. You get to experience the joy of giving it away and make sure that the gift is given to the proper person. Or, one can write a letter to that person telling them that you intend to leave the possession to them when you pass and telling them to claim it.
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